Honest Pain
God created us as emotional, physical, spiritual, and logical beings. We are complex. Which of these four aspects do you find yourself discounting most often? Why is that? I’m curious how you answered. If you are able, write a quick note in the comments section at the end.
I would guess the majority of us find ourselves discounting, minimizing, and even concealing our feelings. Jesus was once asked which of the commandments is the most important. We find His answer in Mark 12:29-30:
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
Most of us have probably seen maps of the brain illustrating functions of the different areas. What if we considered the heart in a similar manner? Perhaps a simple illustration would look something like this:
How do we love God with all our heart? Do you believe some of your emotions are acceptable to God and others are not? What if you are angry, confused or otherwise upset by life or with God? What do you do then? Some pack the emotions away while others righteously deny the pain (all things work together…). Neither of these options are healthy or what God desires. We are taught by scripture to be open and honest with all our emotions, even the darkest. God desires for us to be transparent with Him and encourages genuine interaction.
Lament, the expression of grief or sorrow, is a theme we find throughout the Bible. It’s raw, unfiltered wrestling with God. It’s about the human experience as emotional beings. Lament is how we can love God with all our heart in the midst of dark times. It is not only acceptable, but encouraged to pour out our raw emotion before God. It is NOT offensive or forbidden. God already knows what you’re thinking. Do you believe He’ll be surprised by what comes out of your mouth? Can He not handle it? Take all your heaviness to Him, the only one who can take it.
At the end of the post I have included links to several lament psalms so that you can read examples of open, honest lament. You can then use those examples to build upon in your prayers. I’d recommend reading one psalm each day and reflect upon how the psalmist pours out his heart before God. In your reading you’ll be able to pick up on these three aspects of lament:
1. Questions
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why have you rejected me?
Laments are riddled with questions. The most commonly asked question is why. Isn’t that the premier question during a crisis? There are also a range questions beginning with what, where, when, and how. Our God is a God who allows us to ask questions. Our questions can come out of our emotions. They don’t have to be logical. Just ask what is on your heart. God honors sincerity.
2. Commands
Hear my cry.
Vindicate me.
Save your people and bless your inheritance.
Laments use imperatives; commands. All the niceties fly out the window. Psalmists, prophets, and all of God’s people lose their manners. The soul is disturbed, in torment. You are free to get bossy. Tell God exactly what you need. Call it like it is. Pour out your heart.
3. Accusations
Here’s where it gets nitty gritty. This is where we allow God to see our deepest pain. Take a look at these verses from Psalm 88, the darkest of all lament psalms.
You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.
You have taken from me friend and neighbor- darkness is my closest friend.
It is ok to state the way a situation feels. Your pain matters to God. Lay it out raw. God is God. You don’t need to filter it. He can handle it.
Have you been stuffing away your feelings or righteously ignoring your pain? God desires to be loved with all your heart. Don’t hide the dark emotions. Give them to God. Once we acknowledge and share the pain with God, He can take it and use it to bring us into a new place. Only then will we be transformed. Life won’t be all rainbows and butterflies, but we will experience a renewed deeper faith.
It is not only acceptable, but encouraged to pour out your raw emotion before God.
What questions, commands, and accusations can you find in these lament psalms? Can you relate with any?
Psalm 13 (day 1)
Psalm 39 (day 2)
Psalm 60 (day 3)
Psalm 77 (day 4)
Psalm 88 (day 5)
I can do relate to each of the Laments these days. I really needed to read this Heather as it helped me to understand. I get angry when my pain gets so bad that I can barely stand it then i usually end up crying. This is when I realize & understand how much I need God. He wouldn’t have formed us the way we all are if he didn’t want us to rely on him. Remember the poem “Footprints” I am being held by God even when I am lamentating and laying it all, the good, the bad, and the ug!y, at his feet. I like to read Matthew 7:7-12. That we need only to ask. I was reading our Bible Study homework Psalm 103. I copied it & put it on my prayer wall on my closet door. It’s also a beautiful song. His steadfast love stands out in almost every Psalm and that alone means something. Such good timing on your part Heather.
Yes, His steadfast love surrounds us in our pain and anger. I’m glad you tied in psalm 103. It tells us that God has compassion as He knows our frame. There is comfort and freedom in realizing He knows and understands. Thank you, Susan.
Thank you for this post! I would say that emotion is the aspect I regard as most unreliable. When I am angry, it is easiest to NOT pray, being wrapped up in the situation. Being able to pray that anger is something that I have had to learn recently. Usually the “why” comes up. As in PS. 13, those prayers seem to switch to recounting blessings and thanking God for them. Thank for sharing this, Heather!
I can relate with you! I try to minimize my emotions and find it difficult to talk to anyone when I’m angry. It is amazing to me how being honest with our pain results in genuine thanks and praise. If we ignore it or minimize it, any thanks or praise will be forced, if there is any at all. Thank you for sharing and highlighting those ups and downs.
I woke up this morning feeling anger about an injustice of the past that is yet reconciled. Lamenting is exactly what I needed. The specificity of what can be included in a lament was particularly helpful. Thanks Heather!
I am grateful that this was so timely. I’m so glad that God provided the laments as a template and example for us today. He knew we’d need permission to be honestly raw. Thank you for honestly sharing your experience this morning, Rod.