Asking the Wrong Questions

 

 

This week I have found it very difficult to write.  The events over the last two weeks has left me drained and unsettled.  Sure, it’s been busy with preparations for school, but that has been the easy part.  The difficulty has been in watching dear ones suffer.

This past week I spent three treasured days with a dear long-time friend.  She is my age and is dealing with terminal cancer that has taken her sight.  She is a remarkable woman.  I was impressed at her skill and ingenuity at navigating life without sight.  She doesn’t balk at the challenges but meets them head on.  Even so, after I returned home, I found myself grieving for all her dreams.

Recently I was also able to spend a couple hours with a dear church family member.  I have not seen her much since she was diagnosed with ALS.  This woman has a heart for children and she herself had the energy and joy of a child.  She was a teacher and was wonderful with children.  Whenever I hear the phrase “child-like faith” I think of her.  It has been so difficult to watch her body betray her spirit as her abilities have been slowly stripped from her.

Yesterday I decided to take a moment to sit outside and enjoy peace, quiet, and nature amidst my troubled thoughts.  After a few minutes, my husband joined me.  I shared my thoughts on how my friend and I both went into the exact same surgery within 2 months of each other.  My tumor turned out to be benign while hers was not only malignant, but incurable.  He asked me, “Are you asking ‘why’?”

The question of “why” wasn’t on my heart at the moment.  My heart was in a state of grief over my friend’s losses.  I strongly believe that it is important to cry out to God in honest lament.  God encourages us to ask questions and to seek Him through the chaos.  Life indeed does give us more than we can handle.  What is important is how we deal with being stretched beyond our capabilities. 

Over the last year or two I have observed how time after time we ask the wrong questions in our spiritual lives.  There are six basic questions we can ask: who, what, where, when, why, and how.  We ask “how” when we should be asking “why.”  We ask “why” when the answer we need is in the “what.”

Photo by Evan Dennis

So, what question should I be asking, if any at all?  That thought took me back to those two hours with my friend with ALS.  As I was leaving, I overheard her say to someone, “If I can make a difference to just one person through all of this, it will be worth it.”  I was stunned.  Those words have stuck in my mind and have impacted me deeply.

When we suffer, we are typically thrown into new circles.  We meet different people, often people struggling with the same problems.  We have an opportunity to be genuine and understanding in our struggles.  That makes a powerful impression in the lives of people around us.

In my friend’s stories, I have decided to ask the question, “How is God working?”  Amidst the pain and the struggles, God works.  We are guaranteed to suffer and witness suffering in this life.  I will never know the “why.”  It is much too large a picture for me.  I can grasp smaller sketches of how God is impacting their lives and the lives around them (including mine) through these struggles.

What questions have you been asking?  If you have come up empty-handed time after time, maybe it’s time to change your question.  Look at it from a different angle.  Ask God to reveal to you meaningful questions and then ask and seek to that end.  There are also times of waiting; when we need to be still and patient.  I have had several times in my life where I have felt like I was lifting up an empty cup day after day while asking, “When?”  The important thing is to keep on waiting, asking, and seeking.

Scriptures to ponder this week:
Philippians 3:10-16
Ecclesiastes 7:8-14
James 5:7-20
John 16:20-33
1 Corinthians 12:25-13:7

Originally published August 12, 2019.  Since then, these two dear women have passed away.  I thank God that I was honored with their friendship.  They taught me valuable lessons through their lives, pain, and deaths.  We have many good examples of how to live, but it is more rare to find one willing and vulnerable to be an example of how to die.  Oh dearly missed sisters, one day we will be reunited again.  Peace.