Attacked

 

My husband and I don’t remember what we were discussing or debating.  We both remember exactly where we were and the resulting treasured phrase.  Kevin and I were driving to church.  It was just the two of us as we hadn’t had children yet.  It was sunny, but the attitude inside the car felt anything but sunny.  I was getting perturbed with my husband or at the very least my patience was wearing thin.  Then, oddly, Kevin says, “The Whorlanese people like me.”  It was stated as a rebuttal.  It completely threw me off.  First of all, who are the Whorlanese?  And secondly, Kevin has never traveled overseas.  Where did he meet another people group?  I doubted he had some secret pen-pal relationship with an entire people.

I couldn’t let this one go.  I asked, “Who are the Whorlanese?”  “What?” He replied.  I sighed heavily and asked, “What did you just say?”  He clearly and slowly said, “The world needs people like me.”  And then I couldn’t stop laughing.  I told him what I thought he had said and ever since it’s been one of our favorite phrases.  Whenever we don’t see eye to eye or one of us suspects we’re being viewed in an unfavorable light, we say, “The Whorlanese people like me.”  It’s kind of like the child who has an imaginary friend, only it’s not just one friend, it’s an entire people group.  There, acceptance is found.

Photo by Dora Kabath

Throughout life we are attacked.  We experience it in childhood and it continues throughout adulthood.  We are attacked at times by coworkers, our culture, neighbors, friends, and family.  Relationships are messy.  There have been several times that I have thought to myself that I’d have a great relationship with God if it weren’t for the messy relationships in my life.  God doesn’t call us out of messy relationships.  He calls us to bring Him into them. (Abusive relationships are different. Get out and seek help.)

Possibly, our greatest attacker is ourself.  We can really beat ourselves up!  We know our weaknesses, deficiencies, and fears.  This can cause a mental “perfect storm” in which we work ourselves into depression, self-pity, and inaction.  We allow ourselves to play the victim.  This is not where God wants us.  It’s not who He believes us to be.

For some of us, including myself, can go one step further.  It’s actually my own comfort that chains me.  Think about your personal comfort zone.  Has it ever held you back?  It has for me, time after time.  You see, I am an introvert.  I am someone who enjoys and needs quiet time.  Big get-togethers and meeting new people wears me out.  Yet, God calls us to be in relationship.  This is what I call the “curse of the introvert.”

I vividly remember a time when I attended a church women’s retreat in my early 20’s.  I didn’t know many ladies and was hoping to make some friends.  One evening there was a social time with hot cocoa and s’mores.  Many ladies were standing in circles and talking.  I was standing by myself.  It was then that the self-attack began.  “Nobody likes you.  You’re the odd one.  You could leave and no one would notice.” On and on it went.  And I let it.  I was comfortable by myself.  But I wasn’t happy.  I convinced myself that someone should be including me.

Since then I’ve learned that most of us are simply unaware.  I allowed myself to be part of the problem.  Now I realize I need to step into a circle and join a conversation, despite how uncomfortable it is.  It is time to break the shackles of my comfort zone and stop attacking myself.  This will take energy, courage, and some quiet time later to recharge, but I will be happier having conquered an inner battle.

When I am feeling attacked, whether it is real or imagined, I turn my thoughts to the many things God says about me.  I am a child of the King.  I am precious.  I have purpose.  Then I think about all that He has arranged in my life, and before my life, so that I would know Him and be treasured by Him.  Try it.  Remember He not only loves you, He wants to be with you.  He created you for a purpose.  You have strengths and weaknesses that are to be used within the community of believers.  Be in community.  Remember, the world needs people like you.  It really does.

Scriptures for this week.  Share some thoughts.  What is your comfort zone and has it held you back?  How do you fight self attacks?
2 Corinthians 4:6-18
Psalm 123
2 Corinthians 7:5-7
2 Timothy 1:6-12
Isaiah 11:1-9

Originally posted April 8, 2019