My husband and I had the opportunity to go out for dinner together the other night, just the two of us. It started out somewhat rocky as we couldn’t decide on a restaurant. We also had a time restraint, which limited options and added extra pressure. The evening only seemed to highlight tensions instead of allowing time to reconnect.

As we were driving along, we noticed a strange large vehicle turn onto the road some distance ahead of us. It looked like an odd version of a European double decker bus. My husband said it was an upscale horse trailer. I said, “Really? It looks more like a bus to me.” And so, the challenge was on. He was determined to catch up to the vehicle to resolve the issue.

We finally passed the vehicle, and sure enough, it was a horse trailer. It was unlike any horse trailer I had ever seen before. I was astonished. My husband started speaking, clearly pleased that he was right. I began to feel that terrible mood grow within me; that feeling of bitter grudge frustration. It’s the feeling of being proved wrong. It was the ugliness of pride. I hate that feeling. It can grab ahold of me, wrap itself around my heart, and not let go. So, I did the only thing I knew to do before it cut me off and hardened me. I said, “I was wrong.” Just like that, the feeling fled from within me. My husband laughed, and I laughed.

“I was wrong.” Those three words are tough to say. No one wants to be wrong. What happens to our heart when we refuse to humble ourselves? Let’s take a look at Psalm 17:10 in the NIV and NASB:

They close up their callous hearts, and their mouths speak with arrogance. (NIV)

They have closed their unfeeling heart, with their mouth they speak proudly. (NASB)

The Hebrew word that is often translated as “callous” or “unfeeling” actually means to be covered with fat. Gross! Exactly. It’s supposed to give the reader that shock of disgust. If one’s heart is encased in fat, it is cut off from its surroundings. It cannot feel or sense what is going on around it. It is isolated.

Pride isolates.

Humility restores.

Today we use the term “heart” to refer to our emotions. When you read about the heart in the Old Testament, the reference is much broader. It is not just referring to the center of emotions, but the center of one’s will and mind as well. Certainly, these are all linked together. We can see from my example how I was proved wrong intellectually, which resulted in bitter feelings and an antagonistic will.

This reminds me of Pharaoh in the book of Exodus. Pharaoh was known for his hard heart. I was intrigued to find that two Hebrew words are mainly used and translated as hard or hardened. One means heavy or burdensome. The second word, which is used about twice as much, means strong. It surprised me that having a strong or strengthened heart could be detrimental. I had associated a strong heart with courage. But this is not courage. This is strengthening one’s mind, will, and heart to one’s own end. We have a word for this in English as well. It’s called strong-willed.

God calls us to have soft hearts towards Him and towards one another. He is our Creator. He knows that strong, fat-covered hearts are not healthy, but lead to ruin. God created a beautiful power in humility. It is the power of restoration and reconciliation.

Do not withhold the words, “I am sorry” or “I was wrong.” They are words of healing. They are difficult to say, indeed! Our pride wants to hang onto a false sense of strength, that is in actuality, weakness. Apologizing and admitting error can be especially difficult in positions of authority, for example, as a parent or manager. But these are situations in which those words are particularly powerful. These words not only restore, they bring respect.

Don’t resist spilling out the words, “I was wrong.” By hanging onto those words, something worse has a hold of you.

Scripture passages for this week:
Exodus 7:13-24
John 12:37-43
John 13:1-17
Philippians 2:1-8
1 Corinthians 13:4-13